In birth, a labouring woman is often seen as either the most powerful person in the room or the most vulnerable. But what if the truth is that she can be both?
Birth is an experience that calls for vulnerability, forcing us to face our deepest instincts. In that moment, a woman can feel either fully in her power – strong, present, and confident – or exposed, overwhelmed and at the mercy of those around her. But what if you could feel both at the same time? What if you could harness the vulnerability of birth and use it to fuel your power?
The Power of a Labouring Woman
Standing in your power during labour and birth isn’t about retaining control at all times – it’s about you having knowledge, confidence, and an understanding of all your options. As a doula, I’ve witnessed how a woman who is informed, trusts her body, and is supported by a strong team can be free to step into her most powerful state. The secret is to know when to lean in and when to let go.
Power looks like:
- Knowing your rights and making informed decisions about your care: The power comes from understanding your options and making the best choices for you and your baby.
- Trusting your body’s innate wisdom to birth your baby: Trusting that your body knows exactly what to do. This confidence in your body’s abilities brings power to every moment.
- Surrounding yourself with people who respect and uplift you: Power is also about creating an environment where you feel safe and supported. A team that believes in you and supports your wishes helps you feel empowered.
- Using tools like movement, breathwork, and relaxation techniques to navigate contractions: Power is in your ability to stay present and grounded, even if birth is intense.
- Standing firm in your choices: Whether you’re aiming for a physiological birth or choosing medical support, power is in making decisions that feel right for you, and sticking to them when necessary.
The Vulnerability of Birth
Vulnerability in birth isn’t a weakness. It’s an openness, a surrender, and a deep trust in your body and the process. Birth demands that you let go – of expectations, of control, of everything that feels comfortable. It’s raw, and it’s real. But vulnerability isn’t something to fear – it’s a powerful force that allows transformation.
Vulnerability looks like:
- Releasing the need to control every aspect of birth: Surrendering to the flow of birth requires trust. It’s about stepping into the unknown and letting the process unfold without rigid expectations.
- Allowing yourself to be supported by others: Vulnerability is asking for support when you need it and accepting the help that’s offered.
- Feeling fear, doubt, or exhaustion – but moving forward anyway: Vulnerability doesn’t mean avoiding fear or pain; it means experiencing those emotions fully and continuing to move through them.
- Expressing emotions freely: Vulnerability is the freedom to cry, scream, laugh, or simply be present with whatever emotions arise during birth.
Why Both Matter
While it’s common to feel either powerful or vulnerable during labour, the most empowering births happen when women embrace both. You see, when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you open yourself to the transformation that birth offers. But when you combine that vulnerability with knowledge, preparation, and support, you unlock a power that was always inside you, waiting to be claimed.
The key to balancing power and vulnerability lies in the work you do before the birth – whether during pregnancy or even pre-conception. Without this inner work – building knowledge, confidence, and emotional resilience – you may find yourself overwhelmed, unsure, or unable to access your full power during the intensity of labour. But with the right preparation, you can access both your vulnerability and your power, allowing them to fuel each other in ways that create a truly transformative experience.
This is why I encourage women to create a Birth Manifesto® – a personal tool that can be much more impactful than a simple birth plan. A Birth Manifesto® is about defining who you are, how you want to feel, and what support you need. It’s not about sharing your preferences; it’s about preparing yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the experience so that when the time comes, you can consciously embrace both power and vulnerability.
Stepping into Your Birth Power
So, the question shouldn’t be ‘Would you rather be powerful or vulnerable?’ because the answer isn’t either/or – it’s both. The most powerful births are those where women embrace both their vulnerability and their strength. By doing the inner work ahead of time, you can step into your birth with the confidence that these two states can coexist and fuel each other.
Ready to step into your birth power?
Take the first step by creating your own Birth Manifesto® – defining your needs, your emotions, and your support. It’s the ultimate tool to help you embrace both your power and vulnerability in the birth process.✨
Join my Discover Your North Star course from February 17th 2025, where you can build the confidence, clarity, and support you need to embrace both your power and vulnerability in birth. Click the link here to learn more.