Over the years, supporting women through pregnancy and birth, I’ve found myself repeating the same key truths. My quotes have become powerful mantras that have helped thousands of couples prepare for a physiological birth with confidence.

Birth is a hormonal, emotional, and deeply intuitive process. If you want to stay in control, make informed decisions, and avoid unnecessary interventions, these 8 birth truths will be your guide.

1. If You Don’t Get Hormones, You Won’t Get Birth

For most, birth is not a mechanical process – it’s a finely tuned hormonal event. Your body is responding to a complex interplay of prostaglandins, oxytocin, endorphins, melatonin, and adrenaline, all working together to bring your baby into the world.

Here’s what these hormones do:
🌀 Oxytocin – The ‘love hormone’ that drives contractions, deepens connection, and promotes bonding.

🔥 Prostaglandins – The hormone required to soften and ripen the cervix, allowing it to thin and open effectively.

🌿 Endorphins – Your body’s natural pain relief, creating a sense of calm and euphoria.

🌙 Melatonin – Works with oxytocin to enhance contractions (this is why dim lighting can help labour progress).

⚡ Adrenaline – Needed at the right moment to give you the final burst of energy to birth your baby.

When these hormones flow undisturbed, labour can typically unfold as nature intended. When interventions like inductions, artificial oxytocin, epidurals, or constant disruptions interfere with this delicate balance, your body can struggle to birth efficiently. Labour can slow down, become more painful, or lead to further interventions.

What to Do Instead:

Birth hormones thrive in an environment of safety, privacy, and calm.

• Keep the lights dim.
• Limit unnecessary disturbances or monitoring.
• Stay upright and mobile to work with your body.
• Surround yourself with people who make you feel safe.
• Reduce stress and fear – because adrenaline at the wrong time will shut labour down.

When you understand and protect your hormones, you give yourself the best chance of a smoother, less painful, and more empowering birth experience.

2. Your Partner Can Make or Break Your Birth Experience

The way your partner shows up during labour and birth can impact your experience more than you might expect. If they are unsure, anxious, or defer to medical professionals without question, it can shake your confidence and disrupt your focus. But if they are prepared, calm, and fully trust in you and your ability to birth, they become a pillar of strength when you need it most.

Your birth partner should be your biggest advocate – holding space for you, protecting your birth environment, and ensuring that your wishes are respected. They need to trust you more than they trust the system. This means preparing in advance, learning about physiological birth, understanding your rights, and knowing when and how to step up on your behalf.

What to Do Instead

• Educate them. They need to know more than just what contractions are. They need to understand physiological birth, hospital policies, interventions, and – most importantly – how to advocate for you.
• Discuss your birth plan together. It’s not enough for you to know what you want. Your partner needs to be 100% on the same page and ready to speak up when you can’t.
• Help them build their confidence. They need to trust birth – and trust you. If they put their faith in the hospital instead of in your ability to birth, that will be felt in the room.
• Make sure they can hold the space. Birth requires protection. A strong birth partner isn’t just ‘there for you’ – they are actively making sure that everyone else in the room is respecting your choices.

Your birth partner can ground you in strength or fill you with doubt. They can help you stand firm in your power or unknowingly push you toward interventions. Make sure they are ready.

3. Never Ever Chase Your Labour

One of the biggest mistakes women make is trying to force labour to start, or keep going, when their body and baby are not ready.

Birth isn’t a puzzle you need to solve. Your body already knows exactly what to do. So if you start actively trying to kick start labour, or attempt to accelerate it in any way – a few things can happen:

🚨 You stress yourself out when nothing works. This raises adrenaline – the hormone that blocks oxytocin (which you need for labour).

🚨 You stay in your head – and don’t get into your body – making labour more likely to be long and difficult.

🚨 You exhaust yourself before labour even gets going, making it harder to cope when the real work starts.

🚨 You can create unnecessary interventions. The more desperate you become, the more likely you are to accept things like sweeps or inductions that might not have been needed.

What to Do Instead

• Relax, trust, and surrender. Your baby and body are working together on their own timeline. Let them.
• Focus on oxytocin, not action. Labour starts in an atmosphere of safety, warmth, and calm – not in stress or frustration. Snuggle up, watch a funny movie, light some candles, listen to music that makes you happy.
• Protect your energy. The last thing you want is to be sleep-deprived and depleted before labour even begins. Rest now – you’ll need it later.

Labour will come. It always does. And when it does, your energy, patience, and trust will make all the difference.

4. When It Comes to Giving Birth, You Are the Expert

Too often, women are led to believe that birth is something that happens to them – that they need to be guided, managed, or rescued through the process.

But birth is not a medical event – it is a physiological and instinctive process. No doctor, midwife, or doula – no matter how experienced – knows your body better than you do. They have knowledge, but you have deep inner wisdom. And that wisdom is just as valuable.

Why This Matters in Pregnancy

Your ability to trust yourself in labour doesn’t start when contractions begin. It starts in pregnancy – in the way you connect with your body, make decisions, and listen to your intuition.

If you don’t practice believing in yourself before birth, it’s going to be so much harder to stand firm in labour when you’re at your most vulnerable. This is why working on your self-trust is one of the most important things you can do during pregnancy.

The more you trust yourself now, the stronger and more confident you’ll be – not just in birth, but in motherhood, too.

When you deeply trust yourself, you become unshakable. You stop seeking permission for your choices. You stop doubting yourself at every turn. You stand firm in what you know to be right for you and your baby.

What to Do Instead:

• Strengthen your self-trust in pregnancy. Tune into your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. If something feels right, don’t let others shake you.
• Educate yourself. The more you understand birth, the more you’ll feel in control. Knowledge removes fear.
• Own your choices. Your body. Your baby. Your birth. No one else gets to decide for you.

When you trust in your ability to birth, you don’t just set yourself up for a more empowered labour – you step into motherhood with confidence, strength, and deep self-belief.

5. One Way to Sabotage Your Birth Is to Not Hydrate

Dehydration is one of the most common reasons for stalled labour. When your body lacks fluids, contractions become less effective, you feel more exhausted, and you’re more likely to need medical intervention.

It’s something you need to be mindful of before labour even begins. If you go into labour already dehydrated, you’re starting at a disadvantage.

Staying hydrated is not just about drinking water. Electrolyte balance is key. Without proper electrolytes, simply drinking water can dilute the minerals your muscles (including your uterus!) need to function properly.

Why Electrolytes Matter for Labour

Your uterus is a muscle, and like any muscle, it needs hydration + minerals to work efficiently. Key electrolytes like sodium, potassium, magnesium, and calcium help your muscles contract and relax properly. Without them, contractions can become ineffective, erratic, or stop altogether.

Signs of dehydration in labour include:
🚨 Weak or ineffective contractions
🚨 Feeling exhausted too soon
🚨 Increased heart rate
🚨 Dizziness or nausea
🚨 Dry mouth or cracked lips

What to Do Instead:

• Hydrate Before Labour Begins – Start prioritising hydration in pregnancy. Aim for at least 2.5L of fluids daily and increase if you’re sweating more.
• Drink Smart in Labour – Sip electrolyte-rich fluids like coconut water, homemade electrolyte drinks (water + lemon + pinch of sea salt + honey), or electrolyte powders with clean ingredients (no artificial sweeteners or colours).
• Use Hydrating Snacks – If drinking is hard during labour, try eating water-rich fruits like watermelon, oranges, or cucumber for extra hydration.
• Don’t Rely on Hospital IV Fluids Alone – If you become dehydrated, hospitals may offer IV fluids, but these can dilute essential minerals even further. Stay ahead of dehydration by drinking consistently throughout labour.

Birth is an endurance event – you wouldn’t run a marathon without proper hydration, and labour is no different. Start preparing now by hydrating properly and balancing your electrolytes so that when labour begins, your body has everything it needs to function optimally. Don’t let something as simple as dehydration make birth harder than it needs to be

6. Hypnobirthing Is Not a Magic Bullet

Hypnobirthing is a powerful tool, but it’s not enough on its own.

Some women think that just listening to affirmations or practicing relaxation techniques will guarantee a smooth, easy birth – but hypnobirthing requires education, preparation, and a deep understanding of yourself as a person.

The truth is, you can prepare well, but if you step into birth without understanding how the maternity system works, what your rights are, or how to advocate for yourself, then all the breathing techniques in the world may not support you in the right way.

What to Do Instead

• Combine hypnobirthing with real birth education. Understand not just how to relax, but also how birth works physiologically, how to navigate the system, and how to make informed decisions.
• Know your rights. A calm mind is powerful, but a well-informed mind is unstoppable. Knowing what you are and aren’t required to do will help you stay in control of your birth experience.
• Have a strong support team. Your partner, doula, or birth team need to be on the same page as you. Birth can be intense, and the last thing you want is someone planting doubt when what you need is reassurance.
• Stay flexible. Hypnobirthing is about creating the best conditions for a physiological birth, but it’s also about adapting with confidence if things shift. A calm, educated mother is a powerful force.

💡 Hypnobirthing isn’t just about ‘staying calm’ – it’s about stepping into birth feeling prepared, confident, and ready to navigate whatever comes your way.

Would you like a practical guide to help you understand your birth rights and make informed decisions?

Download my free ‘Know Your Rights in Birth’ Cheat Sheet here

7. A Difficult Birth Doesn’t Need to Be a Negative Experience

No matter how much we prepare for our dream birth, the fact is that sometimes, things might not go to plan.

What I want you to know however, is that the difference between a challenging birth that leaves you feeling strong and one that leaves you feeling powerless often comes down to how informed, supported, and in control you feel throughout the experience. When a woman is actively involved in her decision-making, even when interventions are needed, she is far more likely to walk away feeling empowered rather than broken.

Why Informed Decision-Making Matters

Birth trauma is not just about what happens physically – it’s about how a woman feels during the process. Many women feel traumatised not because of medical complications, but because they felt unheard, dismissed, or pressured into choices they didn’t fully understand.

Having the knowledge and confidence to ask questions, explore options, and give informed consent makes all the difference. When you feel like an active participant in your birth, rather than a bystander, you remain in your power, even when things take unexpected turns.

What to Do Instead:

• Educate Yourself – Understand your rights, the birth process, and your options. The more you know, the more confident you’ll feel in any situation.
• Plan, But Stay Flexible – Birth plans are valuable, but they should be birth preferences, not rigid expectations. Preparing for different scenarios helps you feel in control, no matter how things unfold.
• Create a Birth Manifesto – Go beyond a traditional birth plan and write a Birth Manifesto – a declaration of your values, non-negotiables, and how you want to be treated during birth. This isn’t just about preferences; it’s about setting the tone for your care and ensuring that your voice is heard.
• Build a Strong Support Team – Your birth partner, midwife, doula, or doctor should be people who respect your choices and advocate for your wishes. The right support can be the difference between feeling empowered or feeling powerless.
• Own Your Experience – No matter what happens, this is your birth. You have the right to ask questions, say no, request alternatives, and make choices that align with your values.

An empowered birth is not about having the ‘perfect’ experience – it’s about feeling heard, respected, and in control. When you approach birth with knowledge, support, and trust in yourself, even a challenging birth can become a story of strength, resilience, and triumph.

8. You Will Only Have This Birth Once

Birth is a one-time experience. Each pregnancy, labour, and birth, is unique and can’t be repeated. Whether it’s your first baby or your fifth, you will only have this birth once. That means the choices you make, the support you have, and the way you feel during the experience all matter deeply.

When we don’t prepare intentionally or allow fear or pressure to take over, we can end up with regrets or feelings of disempowerment. You deserve to look back on your birth feeling that you did everything in alignment with your values and what was right for you.

When fear, pressure, or unnecessary interventions take the lead, it can lead to regret or a sense of disempowerment:

➡️ ‘I wish I had trusted myself more’.
➡️ ‘I didn’t ask the right questions’.
➡️ ‘I let others’ opinions take over my choices’.

What to Do Instead:

• Do the Inner Work: Enrol in the Discover Your North Star course to gain the mindset, emotional preparation, and advocacy skills you need to stay aligned with your birth vision.
• Write Your Birth Manifesto®: Clarify your values, preferences, and non-negotiables so you can build your inner confidence and re-wire your subconscious mind.
• Trust the Process: Trust in your body’s ability to birth and in your baby’s timing.
• Ask Questions: Take the time to fully understand your options and the risks and benefits of any suggested interventions.
• Set Boundaries: Be clear with your birth team about your preferences and expectations.
• Surround Yourself with Support: Choose birth companions who will respect your autonomy and help you stay grounded.

By embracing these actions and embodying the lessons from all the sayings, you’ll step into labour feeling empowered. You’ll be able to reflect on your birth knowing you did everything you could to honour this one precious experience.

Take ownership of your birth experience by preparing your mindset and setting clear intentions. Do the inner work to align with your vision, advocate for your needs, and trust your instincts. There’s no do-over for birth, but with intention, preparation, and trust, you can make each birth a deeply meaningful and empowered experience.

These 8 truths are the foundation of an empowered birth experience.

💡 Want to go deeper? My course, Discover Your North Star: Create a Birth Manifesto, will help you build the mindset and confidence you need for a truly empowered birth. Learn more here!